So the other day Sir and I had a session. It was truly amazing, everything was so easy. My pain tolerance much higher as well as my drive. I remember telling Him I wanted him to really treat me like his slut, I wanted to really feel my place with him. I felt so close to Sir during this session, and after.
Later in the weekend, we are having another, less intense session and he starts telling me about the last session and how rare it is that I give myself completely to him, maybe a “3 or 4 times a year”.
I had no idea it was this rare, I feel I give myself to him completely much more frequently, I fairly frequently ask him to make me feel like his slut. Though I guess if I’m being honest I know most of the things we did during the first session, I wouldn’t normally be able to do.
So I asked Him! He everything is different, He even described my body as being different in a way he couldn’t explain.
Now during this second session I was trying pretty hard, I really wanted to match this and show Him I could. We even got out the whip and whipped my ass, back, and nipples, and I fucked His fist while He put it in, He loves this.
Afterwards while we are in the shower together I ask Him about it, He says it was really good but not the same.
I feel very conflicted about this. On one hand I’m happy that I can make Him happy and give myself completely to Him and feel really special that He can tell the differences the way He can. On the other hand. I feel terrible because I dont do it often, and I’m not sure how to change that.
I want to be a good slut for Him. I want to be His alone and completely. Not sure what to do about this, had anyone felt a similar way, have any advice? Are you able to give yourself completely everytime, how do you know?